From Bankruptcy to Bliss: A Journey of Divine Illumination

My first glimmer of spiritual awakening came along when I was 15 years old. It was at that time, through my curiosity of certain books my mother was reading, I realized there was much more to existence than I could detect through my five main senses. That’s when I discovered that “energy” - in a spiritual sense - is a thing, and that we can even manipulate it, so to speak.

 

I can’t say I did much to act on this newfound awareness at that time, as I was a very lost and confused teenager, but I did, soon after, experience my first healing that went beyond what I could initially understand.

 

My entire life, as long as I could remember, I had dreams that I was falling from a great height - quite frequently. And, of course, I’d always wake up just before hitting the ground, my whole body jerking me awake in a state of imagined adrenaline. There was never anything else to these dreams. No start or finish. I didn’t know what I was falling off of or how it happened.

 

I assumed this was a completely normal experience, and never talked about it or wondered what it could mean. It wasn’t until I was 16, when I had one of these dreams that turned out quite differently, did it occur to me there might be something deeper going on. 

 

Now, it was at this age when I started getting my first inkling of what has become a core value I hold dearly today - that we are each the Creator of our own reality. 

 

I was struggling with school, more emotionally than anything, and made a decision that I wanted to go to a different school. I ended up being able to make this big change happen - with the help of my parents, of course, because I was a minor.

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It was around this time that I again had the usual dream that I was falling, but this time, instead of waking before I hit the ground - I didn’t. I hit the ground in my dream, and felt the sudden stopping of my fall, but no pain, as immediately everything went black. Suddenly, I was in a void of complete peace and tranquility.

 

This was a feeling unlike anything I had felt before, as I had spent my existence up to that point feeling constant inner turmoil, angst, frustration, anger - not really knowing why. It seemed I had simply been born that way, and knew no other way to be. A constant state of unease and discontent was my baseline.

 

I woke from the dream feeling that peace and tranquility, and spent a lot of time after that pondering on what this experience really meant.

 

I wasn’t highly conscious of what had taken place, but I do know that the downward spiral I’d been on in my mid-teens finally started reversing. I went from wondering if I was even going to get through high school, to graduating a year early with a 3.9 GPA. 

 

By no means was I healed from every block or negative pattern I was living with, as I still had many challenges and years of excessive self-sabotage ahead of me, but it was the start of a growing awareness and understanding that there’s much more to our existence than what most of the world seemed to acknowledge. Something that science, psychology, religion, etc. just doesn’t touch on.

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A couple of years down the road, I started delving more into understanding this mystical metaphysical world, how I could heal more deeply, get to know who I really am, and uncover my Soul purpose.

 

I was very drawn to any alternative, natural, or holistic forms of healing, and started experimenting with different modalities and methods. When I was 22, I wrote in a journal that I wanted to have my own holistic healing business. I didn’t know what exactly that would look like or how I would make it happen, but I felt the calling deep down.

 

Interestingly, I then completely forgot about the journal or ever thinking about such things when I was that age. Years after starting my current business, I was cleaning out my closet when I came across my old journal, and read that entry. 

 

I was almost surprised I had tapped into that calling in my early 20’s, as I seemed to have forgotten all about it for several years while I took my life on various twists and turns - not knowing how much the seeming random smattering of skills I was picking up along the way would help me later. I didn’t end up starting my business until I was 30, but I finally did get to it.

 

In the meantime, between my first Soul healing experience at 16, and when I finally started truly stepping into Alignment with myself in a big way for the first time at age 30, I had become a young mom at 18, got married at 24, had another baby at 25, filed bankruptcy with my (now ex-) husband at 27, developed a painful autoimmune condition at 28, then got a divorce at 29.

 

But, I had also been pursuing my spiritual path during all of this, as well. I learned Reiki and other forms of energy healing starting at about age 22. I learned the power of meditation. I started experimenting with manifestation, through spells, rituals, vision boards, journaling, and various other inspiring and enchanting techniques.

 

I found an incredible group of spiritual women I met with every month to participate in meditations and empowering or healing rituals, and lots of camaraderie and bonding. We would go on spiritual retreats twice a year, and they were always life-changing.

 

I would sometimes host gatherings and lead the rituals, and I learned to create and lead spiritual healing workshops.

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There was a lot of peeling back of layers, growth, and healing that took place during this time. Every experience was another step down my Soul path, another shift in frequency, another expansion of Consciousness.

 

I remember my first Chakra healing experience at one of the retreats, and what a turning point it was for me. It involved a labyrinth walk and a Chakra meditation, during which I could feel, more intensely than I ever had, a tingly, soothing energy flowing into and through my body. 

 

Afterward, I went back to my bunk bed to sit down and journal about the experience, when I suddenly felt something welling up inside of me, from deep within my core, pushing its way upward, and I thought, “Oh my god, am I going to cry?”

 

It was the strangest feeling, because I wasn’t upset about anything in particular, and it didn’t feel like it was anything specific, or that I was even sad at all.

 

It was a purging, in a very visceral and intense way. I put the journal down and instinctively ran outside to the center of a bamboo grove, sat on the bench there, and cried and wailed and let it all out. Something had been unwedged and forced out of me that had been buried so deep it felt like it was coming up from lifetimes ago.

 

Two friends of mine suddenly appeared and sat quietly on either side of me, not saying a word, just being present, as witnesses to this transformative healing process, and to be there just in case I needed them to put me back together.

 

I couldn’t name or describe the darkness that left me that day, but I knew exactly what it was rushing in to fill the void. I was flooded with a pure, Divine, unconditional Love energy. Even though I had never consciously experienced this in my current lifetime, it was unmistakable. It was like coming home.

 

I came to understand for the first time how incredibly important and significant our Chakras are, and that they can act as powerful healing portals. I was dedicated to deep study of the Chakras and regular meditations after that, and it’s what led to the creation of the popular Chakra meditation I offer today, along with other transformative Chakra healing services.

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For years, I felt I was in a cocoon, going through an extensive transformation,and I knew eventually I would come out and spread my wings.

 

And then, one day, I finally did.

 

I finished up massage school just as I was turning 30. My ex-husband and I had recently split, and I had two young children to care for. As I was waiting for my license to practice to arrive in the mail, I was facing a big decision - apply for a job, or start my own business?

 

Applying for a job certainly seemed “safer”, but I knew it didn’t sit right with me. When it came down to it, I couldn’t ignore the calling to be independent, to create my own destiny and to finally spread my wings and fly.

 

I came upon the perfect location for my business almost by accident. I knew it was a sign, and that everything I had experienced and learned up to that point had led me right to where I was at that moment, and prepared me to make this leap.

 

And that’s what I did. I was terrified, but I took that giant leap of faith in myself. I have to admit, I barely even had a plan and was flying a bit by the seat of my pants, but the Universe just seemed to be rolling out the carpet and I couldn’t turn away.

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The reality was, I had no savings (and a fresh bankruptcy on my credit), no backup plan, no real experience with business, no experience as a massage therapist outside of school, and no clients, being newly licensed.

 

I only had a deep desire to create my own reality, and a pull I couldn’t resist to follow this path to find and fulfill my true potential.

 

I started my business doing mainstream massage modalities, and soon after added Reiki to the service menu. I was nervous to do so at first, because I was so unused to putting myself out there. I had spent many years hiding in that metaphorical cocoon where my transformation was taking place, and it took some time for me to fully come out into the light.

 

My business quickly became a success, and every day I was in awe of this beautiful dream becoming my reality. I was able to provide a good life for me and my children - buy a house in a nice area with great schools, take my kids on summer trips to new places, and go on adventurous vacations with the man who has become my life partner and best friend. I knew that level of abundance would’ve never been possible had I not stepped into my power and started my own business.

 

Because I grew up in a low income household, money issues were always at the forefront. There was never enough of it. And yet, despite the obvious problems this lack created, the prevailing attitude was that people who had lots of money were immoral or selfish and evil in some way. 

 

The negative views and struggles around money were palpable. I was sharply aware of the ways in which this impacted my life.

 

I often didn’t feel physically safe as a child because of the neighborhood we lived in and the schools I was going to. I had cousins and friends who lived in nice, safe neighborhoods, had beautiful new clothes, and had their own backyards and swimming pools, and I didn’t understand why we couldn’t live that way, too.

 

It left me with both a sense of unworthiness and a deep-seated longing for a better experience. I had a belief money was limited and hard to come by, and at the same time another underlying belief that having money was somehow bad.

 

I had to overcome and rewrite my own programming that told me the experience I wanted to create wasn’t possible, or would be too difficult or risky, or that money and abundance was too limited or unlikely to come to me doing things my own way (or to come to me at all), or that I just might not be capable of success.

 

I had set out to create a reality for myself that I’d never experienced, so yes, it felt very scary, but also felt like I had no other choice. Not if I wanted to be true to myself and experience the freedom I so deeply craved. My life had felt so limited up to that point, and I knew there was more - so much more, and I had to find it.

 

The success of my business soon after launching it gave me the support and space I needed to push myself further. I continued to explore my passion around holistic energy healing and where that could take me.

 

Eventually, I received intuitive inspiration to create and cultivate my Chakra Healing Massage, to combine the power of healing touch with everything I knew about these luminous energy centers, and the results were phenomenal.

 

I grew the energy healing side of my business from there, and eventually eliminated the mainstream massage modalities altogether. I came to understand that massage therapy had been a stepping stone, like so many other things, to keep getting me more into Alignment with my Divine Soul.

 

The more I worked with energy healing, crystal healing, Akashic records readings and healing, meditation, manifestation techniques, Kundalini mantras, and prayer, the more miracles I experienced.

 

I was able to heal my Heart chakra around self love issues, which resulted in clearing away the autoimmune condition I had been suffering from. I used quantum timeline collapsing to heal early life and past life traumas. I healed and regained full use of an injured rotator cuff in my shoulder that had been painful for four years to the point I could hardly lift that arm away from my body. I built my dream business and life into my daily reality.

 

Through the almost twelve years I’ve been in business at the time of writing this, I’ve been on a journey of even more intense growth and transformation, going beyond what I ever imagined was possible, both mundane and mystical, including relocating to a new city when it was time for me to move beyond the growth my previous home could support.

 

Of course, this is the in-a-nutshell version of my path of transformation, as life has many intricacies, facets, and stories within stories that would take a full novel to even begin to tell.

 

Sometimes transformational work is very internal - because real change begins on the inside. Other times, the changes must become external, sometimes peripheral and sometimes foundational. As above, so below. As within, so without.

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Each conscious choice is taken with the goal of getting more and more into Alignment with my Soul, and eliminating everything that’s not genuinely me.